INQUIRER.net
Last updated 11:30am (Mla time) 08/10/2007
This affectionate parody of English as spoken and written by Pinoys/nays has been in wildfire circulation on the Net among kababayan with memories of the Old School. – ED

We’ve been friends since a long time ago. We come from the same alma mother. Actually, our paths crossed one time on another. But it’s only now that I gave him a second look. I realize that beauty is in the eyes. The pulpbits of my heart went fast, really fast. Cute pala siya!

And then, he came over with me. He said, “I hope you don’t mine. Can I take your number?” Nag-worry ako. What if he doesn’t give it back? He explained naman na it’s so we could keep intact daw. Sabi ko, connect me if I’m wrong but are you asking me ouch? Nabigla siya. Sagot niya, “The!” Aba! Parang siya pa ang galit! Persona ingrata!!! Ang kapal niya! I cried buckles of tears.

Na-guilty yata siya. Sabi niya, “Isipin mo na lang na this is a blessing in the sky.” Irregardless daw of his feelings, we’ll go ouch na rin. Now we’re so in love! Mute and epidemic na ang past. Thanks God we swallowed our fried. Kasi, I’m 33 na and I’m running out the time.

After 2 weeks, he plopped the question. “Will you married me?” I’m still in a state of shocked. Kasi mantakin mo naman, when its rain, it’s really fours talaga! This is true good to be true. So siyempre, Isaid yes. Love is a many splendor, di ba?

Pero nung inaayos ko na ang aming kasal, everything swell to pieces. Nag-di-dinner kami noon nang biglang sa harap ng aming table, may babaeng humirit ng, “Well, well, well. Look do we have here.” What the fuss… The nerd ng babaeng yon! She said they were still too on.

So I told her, “Whatever is that means, cut me some slacks, ‘no!” I didn’t want this to get our hand kaya I had to sip it in the bud. She accused me of steeling her boyfriend. The nerd talaga! Ats if! I don’t never want to portrait the role of the other woman. Gosh, tell her to the marines! I told her, “Please, you should to mine your own business!”

Who would believed her anyway? Dahil it’s not my problem anymore but her problem anymore. Hmphf. Tumigil na rin siya ng panggugulo. Everything is coming up daisies! I’m so happy. Even my boyfriend said liketwice. He’s so supportive. Sabi niya, “Look at is this way. She’s out of our lives.”

Kaya I advised you – take the risk! You can never can tell. Just burn the bridge when you get there. Life is shorts. If you make a mistake, well, just pray for the internal and external repose of your soul. I second emotion.

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It’s really sick. But this made me laugh. And I hope you won’t hate me for thinking that you would appreciate it, too.
love, CK

hahaha! this really made my day girl! pirti nakong katawa while reading this. thanks! mwah!

Adding new words or new meanings to old words to the dictionary is one of our favorite past time.

NAKIN:

“Alam man nakin `yan ba!”, “Saan nakin kita nakita gani?”.

KU-AN:

“Ku-an daw ang gawin mo”, “Si ku-an kasi ano masyado”. (No sense at all.)

ANO:

“Na-ano ka diyan, Bryan!”, “Ano man yan si Van,uy!”.

HA:

“Lake-ha na ng tiyan ni Lulu uy!”, “Gwapa-ha niya uy!”

BEH:

“Sige daw beh, dare!”, “Pakipasa daw ng ballpen ni Tzaris beh”.

KAY:

“Huwag na, Wowie, kay nandito naman si Norma”, “Umupo ka muna kay nasa-CR pa si Elma. “

We are fond of re-constructing the language.

1) There’s the GI+ verb, such as,

“Gisabi kasi ni Helen na mag-absent si Bernard bukas“, or “Ginanon ni Lalai si Belinda sa mukha”.

You’ll never find “ginanon” in any dictionary, I swear.

2) There’s the KA+adjective, as in,

“Kaputi gyud ng mukha ni Yang- yang” or “Kapayat gyud ni Jason ngayon.”

3) The MAKA+ verb form, such as,

“Maka- inis talaga si Albert, uy!” or “Maka- uwi talaga ako ng matagal ngayon”.

4) The NAG+ verb, as in,

“Nagsabi kasi si Tita Prescy na pupunta daw tayo ng airport” or “Hindi pa man siya nagdating, uy!“

However, since it is a hodgepodge of different tongues, it is sometimes funny to hear our language “bastardizing,” for lack of better word, the other dialects.

Strangely, that distinguishes us from the rest. Try these…

In stating a fact, Manilenos say, “Talagang mabait si Weng.” In Davao, we say. “Mabait bitaw gyud si Weng“.

Too assertive? One asks, “Ano nga `yong pangalan mo?“. In Davao we say, “Ano gani `yong pangalan mo?” (or worst, ngalan)

When somebody commits a mistake or surprises someone, we always never fail to say, “Halaka!”. Duh!

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forwarded message..tnx jo!

How can one distinguish a Davaoeno from a Cebuano? or to a Cagayanon. Difficult? Easy.

Davaoenos are one of the most unique people in the world. We can easily stand out if we are placed in a crowd of Filipinos from other parts of the country. And how, you say? Language.

Davao City, aptly called the melting pot of cultures, is home to many dialects. Tagalog, Cebuano, Ilonggo, Ilocano, Chavacano, Moslem, Bicolano. Name it, we’ll speak it. If the Filipino language is a composition of all the dialects and languages in the Philippines, you might as well say that the language we speak in Davao City is the real Filipino language, and not Tagalog.

There are just so too many words to mention. Just check out the words you spew everyday. Sometimes you just laugh at yourself when you realize that you’ve just said those very words. No matter how long you stay in Manila or in the States, the moment you’re back in Davao, your tongue feels as at home as you do.

Language is the very soul of every being. You just can’t do anything about it. Or as how we say it, “Anuhin man natin yan?“

To express disgust over someone, we utter, “Gago kaba diay para maniwala sa kanya“, or “Ano man yan siya uy!”, or when pestered when doing something, you’d quip,”Huwag lagi ba!“

On the other hand, whenwe praise somebody’s extra special deed or talent, our Davaoeno tongue slips words like,”Kuyaw lagi `yan siya!“, “Galenga niya uy!“, “Ayusa niya uy!“, “Kuyawa ni Orly uy!” or “Hindi ako makatu-o sa ginawa niya!“. Hay, makatawa talaga.

Ooops!

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Read this today in my YMs offline messages…tnx jo!